Poker of Chance

Why is it hard to take chances? Would chances be worth the risk? What if you fail and things would go wrong? Could you still hope for a happy ending?

In reality, everything is a game of chance. Make or break. Take it or leave it. We are hoping for things to fall at their proper places. And when it doesn't go as planned, we rely on faith, prayers, and everything that comes in between. But when opposite worlds clash, could we be able to gamble on chances? Can faith give us the confidence we needed?

Thing is, the person you value so much grew up in a world opposite of your own. She was one who enjoyed a happy life. She was one who live and breath a good life, perhaps, a wealthy life. You grew up with her, shared your young, naive days with her. But living a fast- paced life, things changed. You grew up realizing your world is actually far from hers. Far more different than her.

She's speciea, hence, you bet on the game of chance. It wasn't a smooth ride, alright. You were whisked away from the girl you love and fought to keep a long distance relationship going. Happy moments lingered for a moment but things fell from bad to worse and both felt miserable as days went. Reality bites, she chose her own world and you were left stark naked in a dark grey area.

You lost your bet. You end up giving too much of yourself and was left hurting. You delve down into your own psyche and emotion. Eventually, you became blinded-- a walking emotional machine.

Then fate took it's toll on both of you. * " There are millions of people in this world. But in the end, it all comes down to one." Are you gonna still bank on the poker of chances or would you gonna be rational this time? Maybe, dismiss the thought and let rainy days and love songs lose it's value.

In the end, I happen to get sick of rainy days and love songs. Yet, holding back to say goodbye to someone I embraced once in my life.

* Crazy/ Beautiful

I am...

How would I start introducing myself? Heck, I don't even have the slightest idea on how to describe myself. It's always hard to talk about yourself. You don't know what impression would people get from you. I even may take hours contemplating who I really am... sigh. So, here's the thoughts and confessions of a guy, who is, practically trying to lie about his age (ehem!); who is very much enjoying life but still deals with his own issues and setbacks; who loves to watch movies, read, and the beach; who is very old school at heart (wheee); a frustated athlete who wanted to win games for himself but is always at the losing end; who dreams of becoming a musician, a reality TV star, and a filmmaker. All these and more! (doctor, tour the world, photog, toyshop owner). Bottomline, a 20- year old dork who struggles to make the most out of his life.

You see, I've always been ambitious. I'm a sucker of reality TV and fantasizing myself to be part of a reality search. That one day, I'll win the title American Idol, or even the sole survivor-- perhaps, tour the world in a race and arrive first on the last pitstop. I envy musicians, those who could play instruments and understands the technicalities of notes, rhythm, and lyrics. I for one couldn't actually play the guitar perfectly. Back in gradeschool, my mother won't enroll me into piano lessons suggesting that learning the guitar is better. Funny thing, we didn't spent money for guitar lessons, it's because my mother was my teacher. But having your mom as your teacher is plain agony. Basically, I just knew how to strum the guitar when I was seventeen (that was roughly 3 yrs. ago...hehe). You know why I love to watch movies? It's because I'm trying to imagine that someday my name will also be on the movie credit. You may actually think I'm crazy! After all, dreaming isn't a crime. But who doesn't dream big? I dream big, far more bigger than what you qualify big.

I know I'm probably boring you of talking about what I wanted. but, here's the deal: " Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away" (from the movie, Hitch). And as long as there are moments that takes my breath away. I won't stop exploring my interests. I won't stop daring to do what I never thought I would. Hell, I won't stop dreaming and making my dreams real!

At Hells End

I paused. Flew. Paused again.
Heavy breath and aching head
Blinded by the glistening light ray
My wing's broken
Sore. Lost. Wounded.
My last clasp... futile!
Alas! I embraced the warmth of the flames

Shadows. Figures.
My mind clouds
Lines. Verses.
Etched in my memory

Points of View.
Feelings. Opinions.
Cast on every twirl of wind

My world revolves
My perspective changes
Challenges hurdled,
Missions waiting for actions

Questions pouring
Patches of thoughts
entwined with my very emotion
Images molding every breath

Confusion.
Chaos.
Sore.
Hence, my mind is in turmoil.